Gospel Amnesia

I've been a believer for over 36 years, but I still struggle to apply the Gospel (or Good News) of Jesus Christ to my life in certain ways. An example of this are the pangs of guilt I feel when I read certain passages. On the one hand, I recognize as Paul reminds us in Romans 3:23 that I have sinned along with the rest of humanity. I further recognize as Paul tells us in Ephesians 2:8,9 that I have been saved by grace. Yet, in the strange contortions of my mind, I still expect myself to somehow earn salvation by works through achieving a certain level of righteousness. It is not at a conscious level that I do this, but rather subconscious. The result is that when I read a passage like Romans 12:1 which states that we should present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, I am assaulted with guilt knowing that I am incapable of doing that. My thinking has shifted away from having my righteousness depend on what the Lord has done for me to having my righteousness depend upon my own performance. I have developed Gospel amnesia. What I am learning to do now, still imperfectly, is to preach the Gospel to myself on a daily basis so that I instead can read passages like Romans 12 and realize that all that is required of me is the presentation of my body to God as a living sacrifice, and He is the One who makes it holy and acceptable. The Gospel really is Good News in that Jesus came to make us righteous and holy, and He does so as we place our faith in Him, and not on the basis of our performance. There is nothing we need to do to make that happen, nor is there anything we can do to make that happen. It is His free gift to us, accomplished through His death, burial, and resurrection. It is thankfulness that I should be feeling...not guilt!